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Three men arive at the Pearly Gates

Mar 25, 2003, 8:57pm
Albert Einstein, Pablo Picasso, and George W. Bush arrive at the Pearly
Gates and introduce themselves.

St. Peter says, "You'll have to prove to me that's who you are."

Einstein takes a piece of paper, writes E=MC squared, and then starts
writing the formulas that lead him to it.

St. Peter says, "I believe you, come on in."

Picasso takes out a pencil and paper and starts to draw. St. Peter says, "I
believe, you come on in."



George W. Bush says to St. Peter, "Who were those guys?"



St. Peter says, "Come on in, George."



Source: Mr FunnyBone

Dr Enzo is available

Mar 26, 2003, 4:20pm
Dr. Enzo, the head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital, is examining
patients to see if they're cured and ready to re-enter society.
"So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of his patients, "I see by your
chart that you've been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what
you might do once you're released?"

The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I went to school for
mechanical engineering. That's still a good field, good money there. But on
the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in
the hospital, what it's like to be a patient here. People might be
interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go
back to college and study art history, which I've grown interested in
lately."

Dr. Enzo nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like intriguing
possibilities."





The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on
being a teapot."



Source: Joke of the Day

Free web page tools for aw websites

Mar 28, 2003, 7:05am
Im order that all shall have good web site interfaces I have today installed
on my web site a selection of free to use tools that will allow all to
create some stunning effects for their web sites.

These include the ability to create:

JavaScript/CSS Coders

DHTML/CSS Generators

Graphic Generators

Flash Generators

All these tools are available free to use. Just follow the simple
instructions and in a short time you will have effects for your aw web site
that some pay designers to create.

The url to use these tools is:

http://www.rdescape.co.uk/modules.php?name=GUIstuff


Many thanks to Marco Torskyj for creating this module.

Share and Enjoy

Free web page tools for aw websites

Mar 29, 2003, 1:37pm
Thanks Light Form

Its just Linn and myselfs way of helping to put something back into aw for
the years of fun we have there.

Share and Enjoy


[View Quote]

Do you play the Bass

Mar 28, 2003, 9:22pm
No Offence to any Bass player.................


A guitar player comes to the doctor and complains about a serious
deterioriation of his memory. He especially has a hard time remembering
correct changes and is afraid to lose all his gigs. Since the doctor can't
find the cause, he asks the guitarist to leave behind his brain for a week
in his lab for more detailed examinations. After seven days the guitar
player fails to show up, and even after 2 more weeks there's no sign of him.

Finally the doctor runs into him on the street, grabs him and asks:

"Excuse me, but your brain is still waiting for you to stop by and pick it
up, so why don't you show up?"

The guitarist says, "Well, I think you can keep it; I finally switched to
bass..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------
A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a
coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson,
the father asks,

"So, what did you learn?"

"Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string."

Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the
progress, and the son replies,

"This time I learned the first five notes on the A string."

One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of
cigarettes and beer. So the father asks:

"Hey, what happened in today's lesson?"

"Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------
A tour manager comes across the guitarist and bass player fighting at the
side of the stage and pulls them apart asking what the problem was.

"That bastard detuned one of the strings on my bass," says the bass player,
"and we're on stage in five minutes."

"So what's the problem?", asks the tour manager.

"He won't tell me which string it was", said the Bassist.

Legalities

May 12, 2003, 5:36am
Seems it that time of year again when members start waving threats of
legalities around..


For the many of us not so well versed in Internet law I have provided some
links to relevent articles and the very Famous English Libel Trail involving
the McDonalds case in which it cost the company it is aleged 26 million
pounds to win about 68 thousand pounds which they will never see.

Share and enjoy

Legalities

May 12, 2003, 5:38am
Sorry the url is:

http://www.rdescape.co.uk/modules.php?name=Web_Links&l_op=viewlink&cid=23


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[487] Terrain Visibility

May 26, 2003, 10:06pm
You can change themes with a program named ashton, will allow more flexable
themes on most versions of windows..

Have a look:

http://www.astonshell.com/

Share and enjoy

[View Quote]

multipath.php help

Jun 15, 2003, 5:21am
Create a file called test.php in notebook and in this snippet in it:

<?php phpinfo(); ?>

Save as mentioned test.php

Run it

Then see what changes have been made to your hosters php


[View Quote]

multipath.php help

Jun 15, 2003, 6:50am
There is a known "bug" around that does effect some php scripting and the
uRL, if the multipath script used is the same as I sent to Data22 a few
years ago it will be out of date now, thus it will be proberly be effected,
but now knowing what script is been used its hard to look for errors that
can effect the script.

In all things this should not effect php, but its one of the things no one
can figure out why, proberly something to do with server interactions.


[View Quote]

multipath.php help

Jun 15, 2003, 7:23am
Humm,, if that script fails to work as it should means either your hosting
compay has not installed php, which I dought or you are hosting on a company
that you have to pay more to gain extra facilities like php,cgi and sql
usage. There are some out there, its why when we put a E-commerce site
togather we like to reconmend the hosting company that we know has what we
need.

Check with your hosting agent to see if you can use php scripts free or you
have to cough up some more pobble beads.


[View Quote]

multipath.php help

Jun 15, 2003, 7:27am
As a footnote and me recalling if you are still using the hoster that begins
with easy*****.com on a standered hosting package you dont get php
facilities,, hence your problem is solved in one splash of a dogs tail..
They like you to part with the beads before allowing php..


[View Quote]

multipath.php help

Jun 15, 2003, 9:14am
If its server as you say not configured right whats that got to do with the
script , You must know about the server that hosts the script then? You help
then.

> I'm a bit confused as to what you mean? A bug in what? The main reason for
> this script not working is server configuration (especially regarding the
> one directive Ananas posted).
>
> KAH

Sterotype Joke

Sep 3, 2003, 4:13pm
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a
bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving to inspect a bull, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get
there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out and haul
it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she
wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and
says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a
bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and
drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds,
"It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette
only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister
one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you
to send her the word "comfortable."

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that
you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to
haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it
slowly. ("com-for-da-bul")

Share and Enjoy

A not so Sterotype Joke

Sep 5, 2003, 1:46pm
One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

This he thought would relieve his Wife of the burden of washing his oil
ridden tee-shirt from been under the truck all day

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room looking rather confused and
distressed, he shouted to Wife,

"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Texas."

And they say blondes are dumb....

A not so Sterotype Joke

Sep 5, 2003, 4:34pm
lol

What's a washing machine? I've heard of these instruments.


[View Quote]

The AW song

Sep 5, 2003, 1:51pm
THE AW ADDICTION SONG
(to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")



Doorbell rings, I'm not listnen'
From my mouth, drool is glistnin'
I'm happy although
my boss let me go
Happily addicted to AW!

All night long, I sit clicking
Unaware time is ticking
There's a beard on my cheek
Same clothes for a week
Happily addicted to AW!

Friends come by, they shake me saying "Yo man!"
"Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?"
With a listless shrug I mutter "No man
I just discovered laugh-a-lot dot com."

I don't phone, don't send faxes.
Don't go out, don't pay taxes.
Who cares if someday
They drag me away?
Happily addicted to AW!



Share and Enjoy

Things you hear in AW

Sep 5, 2003, 1:54pm
AW World Lies



* "I'm in this private World consoling a depressed friend."

* "You're different. I've never felt like this about someone I've never met
before."

* "I'm new online and haven't had time to create a profile but tell me more
about yourself."

* "I never do Cybersex! Yet here in this room alone with you, well, I'm
getting excited."

* "Yes, of course I'm female."

* "No, this is my only screen name. You mean you can have more then one?"

* "I'm 5'4, blonde hair, blue eyes and everyone loves my body!"

* Male version is... "I'm 6'0, great tan, and buffed from working out."

* "I'm not like most of the guys/gals here, I want to meet so we can just
have coffee and get to know each other."

* "I don't care what you look like, it's what's on the inside that counts."
(Which is true, it means: 'I'm horny and could care less, just type.')

* "Tonight my love... our souls have touched."



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Microsoft law suit against Bandai

Sep 6, 2003, 1:14pm
Microsoft Sues Bandai Over Tamagotchi Redmond WA, (AP).

Microsoft Sues Bandai
Microsoft (MSFT) has announced a 54 million dollar lawsuit against
Tomagotchi maker, Bandai. Microsoft is claiming that the Tomagotchi (the
Japanese electronic pet that's all the rage with the kids) is an
infringement of its intellectual property.

Microsoft spokesperson, Erik Loregard stated "Software that needs constant,
even hourly attention, or else it dies? Sounds like Windows to me. This is
clearly an infringement on our technology".

The Bandai company spokesman refused to comment on the suit.

Mir Space station was conrtolled by Windows 95

Sep 6, 2003, 1:16pm
10 reasons why we know!

# 10: The computer keeps asking you to "Insert Setup Disk #3 to continue"

#9: There is no space left on the hard drive to store mission data.

#8: The computer refuses to interact with the Mir's "Mr. Java" coffee maker.

#7: Millions of dollars are traced to phone calls to a Redmond, WA 900#.

#6: Mir astronauts are caught stealing RAM from other satellite's computers
to keep their system running.

#5: The Space Shuttle can no longer dock with Mir since "the proper driver
cannot be found"

#4: The system locks up whenever the astronauts try to run life support, the
solar panels and thrusters at the same time.

#3: The astronauts spend three days looking for cyrillic version of the
CTRL-ALT-DEL keys.

#2: Alien ships secretly observing Mir flee in terror.

And the number one sign the new Mir computer is running Windows 95....

#1: You start receiving welcoming e-mail from the Borg

Share and Laugh

Thanks to mike popovic

Wizard myrddin likes jokes about MS

Sep 7, 2003, 3:50pm
lol

I think if you ask 99% of people that take the Billy of Microsoft or make
fun or scream about there products would in a flash exchange places with
Bill Gates, including properly all aw.inc staff from top down..
Not heard of Bill gates wondering if he can get the Truck fixed this year or
next. lol

Share and laugh

Oct. 24th

Oct 1, 2003, 2:40pm
if you visit megapath (awmegaoy) We have provided a url to Tonycats very
good web site that has all megapath textures on. Its the BIG sign you see on
entering the world.

Lin never responded to the Newsgroup in case she was flammed as usual,
therfore for these that used megapath the url is in there to use.



[View Quote]

Oct. 24th

Oct 1, 2003, 8:22pm
I was Talking to Linn and she beleave's there has been one out for a few
years now, Its name I think is texture lister, it is one of Ananas's
programs named RWLsTX this performs the task of listing the textures used in
a .cob or .rwx file so you can download them from megapath texture lists or
see them on Tonycats web site.

http://oct31.de/aw/

As to perform the task of creating many more files that contain the textures
that may never be used can be seen as a waste of valuble time on everyones
time. If you are desperate for textures for the megapath objects download
this program. make a list, then download them at your ease. This might not
get you used to seeing the files (rwx) but gets you used to working with
them, hence increase your own knowledge.




[View Quote]

virtual world for artificial intelligence

Oct 11, 2003, 10:21pm
For these interested in virtual worlds for artificial intelligence you might
be interested in:


http://aiplanet.sourceforge.net/


Share and enjoy

A poem admist the War's

Oct 13, 2003, 7:55pm
Poem for Computer Users over 30
A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note.
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights.
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes.

An application was for employment.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was a piano.

Memory was something that you lost with age.
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3-in. floppy,
You hoped nobody found out.

Compress was something you did to the garbage,
Not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while.

Log on was adding wood to the fire.
Hard drive was a long trip on the road.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode.

Cut is what you did with a pocket knife
Paste is what you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu.

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead.

(Thanks to Juliet Langridge)



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Copyright explained in simple terms :-)

Oct 14, 2003, 8:35pm
When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write, if
the copy is right. If however, your copy falls over, you must right your
copy. If you write religious services you write rite, and have the right to
copyright the rite you write.

Very conservative people write right copy, and have the right to copyright
the right copy they write. A right wing cleric would write right rite, and
has the right to copyright the right rite he has the right to write. His
editor has the job of making the right rite copy right before the copyright
can be right.

Should Jim Wright decide to write right rite, then Wright would write right
rite, which Wright has the right to copyright. Duplicating that rite would
copy Wright right rite, and violate copyright, which Wright would have the
right to right.

Right?

Copyright 1991 Shelley Herman (saherman at pacbell.net)



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Get even with flammers

Oct 17, 2003, 8:18pm
Ever want inflict damage on the flamer in the Newsgroup?

Don't want to be arrested for unofficial head removal?

Pop you browser over to:

http://www.instantvoodoo.com/

And perform your aggression on a Instant Voodoo doll


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Warning to Paypal Users! [5.41 kb attachment]

Oct 30, 2003, 6:07am
Yep stuff like this been doing the ropes for months, ebayers are used to it,
like many who use Paypal. Non of them ask for any details like passwords cc
details by email.

There is always some con people about trying to get at your hard earned
money these days and pray on the trust of people to believe emails etc.


[View Quote]

DirtCity Objects

Nov 3, 2003, 6:05pm
Most of the textures are on the net as public domain. I will look round and
see if can find the url. I posted it in a previous thread..


[View Quote]

DirtCity Objects

Nov 3, 2003, 6:12pm
Ok found the url:

http://jonathanclark.com/textures/index.php3?browse=1&maxtn=27&start=586

Jonathan created these textures for the game Golgotha which collapsed a
while back and allowed his fantastic work in textures to become public
Domain so that some use could be made of them, therefore his work not
wasted. Most are of High quality photorealistic textures.

All you need is the free TS3 or TS4 (I think) and away you go. Used as a
facade they can produce some very nice effects. The old Ghetto world in
AVRquest world was created from most of Jonathans textures, and was quite
stunning effect for very little work.

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[View Quote]

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