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Aug 24, 2005, 7:08pm

As the stress and pressures of modern day living get to us all sometimes, I
would just like to pause for a minute to discuss and make some observations
about conflict within AW as it has been such a prominent theme of late.

And as Jerry Springer does in his wonderful informative programs, I'd like
to make a final thought or two :)

Activeworlds- and ofcourse its many couterparts, present us with a medium
which is quite neutral to begin with; it is only until when we apply the
human element that things start to go awry. We should remember that we are
in a place which contains a varied and diverse population- a seething mass
of different people, groups, each wiht thier own seperate ideas, oppinions
and philosophies- so it is easy to see that conflict is bound to be a
certain and unaviodable part of life here online- the same within in any
community infact,- and this is especially so for those of us who use the
net in thier day to day living.

Indeed Activeworlds, There, Secondlife- and all sorts of MMO's and MMORPG's
are ultimately becoming a lifestyle choice for many- and with such a rich
range of diversity of paticipant on the internet, conflict arises frequently
and will continue to do so into the future. So it is really is a matter of
tolerance and how we choose to deal with conflict when it arises.

Text based communication can be a very interesting and in my experience it
can be seen to create a certain ammount of paranoya- as we have seen in
previous posts, citezens unsure of the actual truth and jumping the gun
slightly in areas of suspected conflict- which makes it important for us to
try to communicate and be as articulate as possible when dealing with any
issue in text.
I am sure many who have been here long enough have lost friendships or
relationships to text due to misunderstandings -or by a guilty by
association mentality; A suspicion that someone has said something or done
something wrong to them - when it may not really be the case.

Text can be a delicate medium and misunderstandings are so easy- the ins and
outs can get blurred like chineese whispers and how one person understands a
situation may be very different to how the other understands it.
It is very sad indeed when people do not take the time to find out the truth
of a situation and take the easy option- (All too easy infact) to switch
people off with mute or ignore them and not even try and deal with it. I
have seen too many good friendships broken like this. Albeit mute is useful
in those annoying tourist situations, but to switch someone off is not
always a wise choice and can be very hurtful aswell- it can only breed more
resentment and strengthens the paranoya- What are they thinking? What have
they said to whom? Are they really my friend? And so it continues.

So from this we can see how important it is for us to all try to comunicate
as articulately as possible within the boundaries of text.

Would we talk to someone the same as we type?
Text is a powerful medium.
I know I dont always, but I try- the loss of feeling and emotion is one
thing- though within text respect can seemingly go out the window sometimes-
and this always never fails to get peoples back up. It is much easier to end
a conversation before it has ended aswell, which is not how we would
normally communicate- so it is even more paramount we try to be as clear as
possible and be patient with one another online. And try to find the truth
within a conflict.

I was so happy to see Disembodied earlier and selfaware postings, which
brings me onto my next point that I feel is important to talk about.
Online friendships can be very intense indeed, when they are good they are
often great- but when they go wrong- they often go very wrong. The intensity
of sitting behing the computer is somewhat to blame for this- for when you
enter this headspace you are in control of what you do, your machine, where
you are, who you talk to etc. For world owners- like myself I have learnt
that this God like quality can go to ones head- and to be selfaware is part
of the battle, self restraint and the ablity to listen and be patient the
other. Disembodied's post was a very refreshing thing to see here in the
newsgroups- the thought that he was not too proud and more importantly
selfaware enough to say "ahh well I was in a bad mood, I wasnt as tactful as
I could have been, but this is my oppinion....", was an open and an
inteligent response.

So to conclude in true Springer style;

Conflict is inevitable from time to time in any area of human interaction,
it is however up to us how we choose to deal with it- should we choose to
block or ignore all who we dont understand or have conflict- (or suspected
conflict) with - in the attempt to keep ourselves safe, - then we should
realise we will be be blocking out people who could be good friends.
Keep a check on your paranoya until you know for sure.
Surely shouldnt we at least try to find out the truth first of a situation
and try to find a resolve?
And if things cant reach that resolve, then we should think hard before
making a public statement- and make sure we are clearly understood, trying
to keep communications open long enough to reach some sort of understanding
and any public or private accusations should be backed up with actual fact
not heresay or mere association.
And try to discuss it in a reasonable manner in an appropriate place. These
things are though bound to surface in the public realm from time to time-
and we should also understand this.. But if they do arise it is important
for AW, the place where we all inhabit and supposedly share the same love
for, that we do not put off prospective citezens in the process.
In general AW is a very happy place- But if it stops becoming happy for
you...
Theres an off switch, take a break and use it.

If only I was this perfect person that Jerry keeps telling us we should be..
sighs....Lol

Anyways- this is askin way too much I know lol, but I thought some of this
might resonate with some of you here who have been here long enough to
experience conflict in its many guises here in AW.
One more thing- this is in no way directed at anyone specific in the recent
spate of postings, this is a mere observation of the recent postings and a
thoughtful discussion of some of the issues that I believe to be relavent.

Many thanks,
Keep it real,

Heretik :))

Aug 24, 2005, 8:01pm

Very well said. Words work well at times but sometimes we need a smile or
a puzzled look to truly understand. Thanks for the good post.

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Aug 24, 2005, 8:36pm

Excellent post, Heretik. Your ideas about online friendships are right on! I
have around 9 or 10, long term and good and trusted online friends (with a
few more canidates) that I have accumulated in the last 7 or 8 years. Let me
just say that in that time span I have met upwards to almost one thousand
different accounts (accounts, not people...lol) and it does take a lot to
truely trust and bond with a person just through chat text and email...but
it can be done! I am here to broadcast that, folks! What it takes is
dedication to the community you choose to be a part of. Look at my
record...maybe 10 trustworthy friends out of probably a thousand
aquaintenances? The bottom line is time. You can't expect to make good and
long lasting relationships online if all you do is show up a few minutes and
return emails. Commitment is what it really takes here, guys. Just like in
Real Life : )

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Aug 26, 2005, 8:31am

Very Well Put HereTik (((( Hugs ))))
I Myself Wish this Arguing would Stop, it,s rippin AW Apart, I,ve made some
Excllence Friends in AW over the Years, and some Enemies. ( That,s Life)
But, just As In RL
If ppl Cant, Along, then Block,em and move on I say.
***** Can,t We All Just Get Along *****

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Aug 26, 2005, 8:38am

Hell lets just get the carebears to sort this out
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Aug 26, 2005, 9:47am

Just remember the 3 R's
1 respect for yourself
2 respect for others and
3 responsibility for your own actions.
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Aug 26, 2005, 10:36am

omg....Carebears *puke*


-=LtB=-

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Aug 26, 2005, 11:42am

rofl <3

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Aug 26, 2005, 1:19pm

Heh.. I like the Jerry Springer comparison.

It's just so fitting to describe the trailer-trash level of drama that
goes on here.....

-Jeremy

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Aug 27, 2005, 3:05pm

Some times people have limitations on how long they can spend on the
computer. but even though i am unable to spend more then a few hours in the
mornings i still have lots of good friends :-)
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