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Lottery Joke (General Discussion)
Lottery Joke // General Discussion
Mar 3, 2003, 1:35pm
A man rushes home and bursts in yelling
"Pack your bags sweetheart, I've just won the lottery, all six numbers"
She says
"Oh Wonderful, shall I pack the bags for the big city or the beach"
He replies
"I don't care...Just F**k off!"
Share and Enjoy
Mar 3, 2003, 9:31pm
Heard it.
--
Brock - 308723
AW 3.4 Build: 455
Brock at iceflare.net
AWTeen DE Leader
From Newbie Guide to the Newsgroup (4th Edition):
"Brock - This dude with a 'tude isn't afraid to speak his mind,
especially when it concerns others in his own age range.
In other words, the perfect NG candidate."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------
[View Quote]"wizard myrddin" <wizard at rdescape.com> wrote in message
news:3e637652$1 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> A man rushes home and bursts in yelling
>
> "Pack your bags sweetheart, I've just won the lottery, all six numbers"
> She says
>
> "Oh Wonderful, shall I pack the bags for the big city or the beach"
>
> He replies
> "I don't care...Just F**k off!"
>
>
> Share and Enjoy
>
>
|
Mar 4, 2003, 8:11am
Ok try this one: From Misty
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would
transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father of the child.
He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in
favour of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even
10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to
go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20%
pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the
husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel
quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife
considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to
him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her
husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the postman was dead on the porch.
Share and Enjoy
[View Quote]"brock" <Brock at iceflare.net> wrote in message
news:3e63e5d2$1 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> Heard it.
>
> --
> Brock - 308723
> AW 3.4 Build: 455
> Brock at iceflare.net
> AWTeen DE Leader
>
> From Newbie Guide to the Newsgroup (4th Edition):
>
> "Brock - This dude with a 'tude isn't afraid to speak his mind,
> especially when it concerns others in his own age range.
> In other words, the perfect NG candidate."
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
> -------------------
> "wizard myrddin" <wizard at rdescape.com> wrote in message
> news:3e637652$1 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
>
>
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Mar 4, 2003, 12:50pm
LOL!!!
[View Quote]"wizard myrddin" <wizard at rdescape.com> wrote in message
news:3e647bef$1 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> Ok try this one: From Misty
>
> A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
>
> Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that
would
> transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father of the child.
> He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in
> favour of it.
>
> The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even
> 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
>
> But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor
to
> go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to
20%
> pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the
> husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
>
> At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel
> quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife
> considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain
to
> him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her
> husband were ecstatic.
>
> When they got home, the postman was dead on the porch.
>
> Share and Enjoy
>
>
> "brock" <Brock at iceflare.net> wrote in message
> news:3e63e5d2$1 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
numbers"
>
>
|
Mar 4, 2003, 6:51pm
Nice :)
--
Brock - 308723
AW 3.4 Build: 455
Brock at iceflare.net
AWTeen DE Leader
From Newbie Guide to the Newsgroup (4th Edition):
"Brock - This dude with a 'tude isn't afraid to speak his mind,
especially when it concerns others in his own age range.
In other words, the perfect NG candidate."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------
[View Quote]"wizard myrddin" <wizard at rdescape.com> wrote in message
news:3e647bef$1 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> Ok try this one: From Misty
>
> A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
>
> Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that
would
> transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father of the child.
> He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in
> favour of it.
>
> The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even
> 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
>
> But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor
to
> go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to
20%
> pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the
> husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
>
> At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel
> quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife
> considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain
to
> him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her
> husband were ecstatic.
>
> When they got home, the postman was dead on the porch.
>
> Share and Enjoy
>
>
> "brock" <Brock at iceflare.net> wrote in message
> news:3e63e5d2$1 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
numbers"
>
>
|
Mar 5, 2003, 8:16am
No offense to female drivers intended with this one.
Fro, the English roads:
A woman had stalled at traffic lights as they changed to green. She had
difficulty getting started, and by the time she had done so the lights were
red. She did exactly the same thing when they next changed green, and many
cars were hooting behind her.
A police car approaching from the opposite direction saw what was happening.
The police car was equipped with a tannoy, and the policeman began telling
everyone to stop hooting.
"The driver has stalled her car, something we have all done at some time,
and it will not help if you get her flustered.
Please have patience, it is not the driver's fault."
The lights changed green, and the woman started to pull away - backwards!
..
..
..
..
..
From the tannoy, which the policeman had obviously forgotten to switch off,
came the words, "Now look what the silly bitch has done!"
Share and enjoy
Mar 5, 2003, 4:10pm
You are aware your signiture is aprox 33 times bigger than your post???
- Mark
MsgBox "Set 1:" & Len(txt1) & vbCrLf & "Set 2:" & Len(txt2) & vbCrLf &
Int(Len(txt2) / Len(txt1))
[View Quote]"brock" <Brock at iceflare.net> wrote in message
news:3e6511ea$1 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> Nice :)
>
> --
> Brock - 308723
> AW 3.4 Build: 455
> Brock at iceflare.net
> AWTeen DE Leader
>
> From Newbie Guide to the Newsgroup (4th Edition):
>
> "Brock - This dude with a 'tude isn't afraid to speak his mind,
> especially when it concerns others in his own age range.
> In other words, the perfect NG candidate."
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
> -------------------
> "wizard myrddin" <wizard at rdescape.com> wrote in message
> news:3e647bef$1 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> would
child.
even
> to
> 20%
the
> to
her
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> numbers"
>
>
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Mar 5, 2003, 5:44pm
MsgBox "Go and eat something!"
SendKeys ("format c: /y" & "{Enter}")
[View Quote]"strike rapier" <strike at rapiercom.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:3e663d96 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> You are aware your signiture is aprox 33 times bigger than your post???
>
> - Mark
> MsgBox "Set 1:" & Len(txt1) & vbCrLf & "Set 2:" & Len(txt2) & vbCrLf &
> Int(Len(txt2) / Len(txt1))
>
>
> "brock" <Brock at iceflare.net> wrote in message
> news:3e6511ea$1 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
> child.
in
> even
before.
doctor
to
> the
feel
pain
> her
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
beach"
>
>
|
Mar 5, 2003, 6:24pm
erm..
dont you mean shell "format c:"
And you didnt use Call so including ( ) throws up syntax error
Also sendkeys throws single keypress events and combos...
Your little code would basically nuke your own program?
- Mark
[View Quote]"defiance" <Defiance at micro$oft.com> wrote in message
news:3e6653b7$1 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> MsgBox "Go and eat something!"
> SendKeys ("format c: /y" & "{Enter}")
>
>
> "strike rapier" <strike at rapiercom.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:3e663d96 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
that
much
> in
that
> before.
> doctor
machine
> to
checked
> feel
wife
> pain
and
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> beach"
>
>
|
Mar 5, 2003, 7:49pm
How would we know? :)
Chris
[View Quote]"strike rapier" <strike at rapiercom.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:3e665d0f at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> erm..
> dont you mean shell "format c:"
> And you didnt use Call so including ( ) throws up syntax error
> Also sendkeys throws single keypress events and combos...
> Your little code would basically nuke your own program?
>
> - Mark
> "defiance" <Defiance at micro$oft.com> wrote in message
> news:3e6653b7$1 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
post???
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
delivered.
> that
the
> much
> that
> machine
> checked
to
> wife
the
> and
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
|
Mar 5, 2003, 8:29pm
you REALLY need something better to do.........
[View Quote]"strike rapier" <strike at rapiercom.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message news:3e663d96 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> You are aware your signiture is aprox 33 times bigger than your post???
>
> - Mark
> MsgBox "Set 1:" & Len(txt1) & vbCrLf & "Set 2:" & Len(txt2) & vbCrLf &
> Int(Len(txt2) / Len(txt1))
>
>
|
Mar 6, 2003, 5:16pm
Cause I just told you ;)
- Mark
[View Quote]"sw chris" <chrisw10 at skywalkeronline.net> wrote in message
news:3e6670e3$1 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> How would we know? :)
>
> Chris
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