|
|
New Computer Virus (General Discussion)
New Computer Virus // General Discussion
Jun 28, 2002, 5:33am
Boy that got your attention, Fun time folks..
Canonical List of Computer Viruses
.............................................................................
....
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS - Takes a couple of bytes out of your apple.
AIRLINE VIRUS - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
AL GORE UNIX VIRUS - Whenever you inquire about one of your environment
variables, it shows you the current setting, but then tacks on an alarmist
message concerning the future of the variable.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS - Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T VIRUS - constantly reminds you how it's giving you much better service
than the other viruses.
AT&T NEW VIRUS - every three minutes it complains that it's sick of circles.
BILL CLINTON VIRUS - This virus mutates from region to region. We're not
sure what it does.
BILLY GRAHAM VIRUS - When you save a file, it prints, "I am saved!" to the
screen.
BIRTHDAY VIRUS - Keeps advancing your clock by another year.
BOBBIT VIRUS - It turns a 7.5meg hardrive to a 3 1/2 inch floppy drive.
BUSH VIRUS - Before you buy a new computer, it claims that your old computer
works on voodoo programming. After you buy your new computer, it maintains
the course of your old computer. For to do otherwise wouldn't be prudent at
this juncture.
CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS - Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in
the reviews, but you still love it!
CLEVELAND INDIANS VIRUS - Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
CLINTON VIRUS - Fills you with the compulsion to cut wasteful government
spending at the same time that it compels you to hop into an airplane for a
$200.00 haircut at taxpayer expense.
CONGRESS VIRUS - Overdraws your disk space.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS - Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously,
but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS 2 - The computer locks up, screen splits erratically
with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the
problem.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS - Forces your computer to play "PGA Tour" from 10 am to 4
pm, 6 days a week.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS 2 - Prevents your processes from spawning any child without
first joining into a binary network. Also said to cause speling erors in
files stored on your disk.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS 3 - Their is sumthing rong with your compueter, ewe just
can't figyour out watt.
DAVID DUKE VIRUS - Makes your screen go completely white.
ELVIS VIRUS - Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then
self-destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations
across rural America.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be
the most important part of the computer.
FREUDIAN VIRUS - Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
motherboard.
GALLUP VIRUS - Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
error).
GEORGE BUSH VIRUS - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until
November.
GEORGE BUSH VIRUS 2 - It starts by boldly stating, "Read my test... no new
files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard
drive with new files, then blames it on the Congress Virus.
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS - nothing works on your system, but all your
diagnostic software says everything is just fine.
GRIDLOCK VIRUS - Keeps shuffling information that it calls 'bills' between
your CPU and BUS, sending messages like 'House Bill #xxxx is unacceptable to
Senate'. Never gets any work done.
H ROSS PEROT VIRUS - Runs for awhile, leaves the system, then re-appears,
but with less effect.
H ROSS PEROT VIRUS 2 - Same as the Jerry Brown Virus, only nicer fonts are
used, and it appears to have had a lot more money put into its development.
H ROSS PEROT VIRUS 3 - Activates every component in your system, just before
the whole thing quits.
HEALTH CARE VIRUS - Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and
sends you a bill for $4,500.
IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS - Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then
subtracts money from your Quicken Account, and spends it all on expensive
shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
JERRY BROWN VIRUS - Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS - Nobody can find it.
• JOHNNY COCHRANE VIRUS - Constantly gloats on how fast it us when
compared to the Marcia Clark Virus.
JOKE VIRUS - poses as a harmless list of funny computer virus names!
Is quickly passed from one user to all other users known via e-mail,
consequently consuming all known network resources. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS -
Enables irreparably damaged files to delete themselves.
JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS 2 - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
LAPD VIRUS - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and
erases then in "self-defense."
LEFT-WING-DRIVEL VIRUS - Deletes all monetary files, but keeps smiling and
sending messages about how the economy is going to get better.
MARCIA CLARK VIRUS - Asks for more time every time you give a command.
MARIO CUOMO VIRUS - A very powerful virus, if it would ever run.
MCI VIRUS - Encourages you to send it to your friends and family.
MCI VIRUS 2 - Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much
for the AT&T VIRUS.
MCI NEW VIRUS - Every three minutes it asks another true/false question.
MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS - Hard to identify because it is constantly altering
its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS - Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people mad
just thinking about it.
NIKE VIRUS - Just does it!
OLLIE NORTH VIRUS - Turns your printer into a document shredder.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS - First appears on system as a 120 KB file, later swells
to 200 KB, then returns to its original size. Periodic printouts appear to
keep you aprised.
PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS - Shifts all output to the extreme right of the screen.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS - This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns
you of impending hard disk attack--once if by LAN, twice if by C:\.
PAUL TSONGAS VIRUS - Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."
PBS VIRUS - Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS - prefers to call itself an "electronic
microorganism".
PONZI VIRUS - It logs onto your bank's computer and transfers $1 into the
accounts of the owners of the last 10 computers it was on. It then attaches
itself to the next 10 items of mail you send.
REAGAN VIRUS - Puts your computer to sleep for eight years. When your
computer wakes up, you're three trillion more dollars in debt.
RICHARD NIXON VIRUS - Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus." You can wipe it
out, but it always makes a comeback.
RIGHT-TO-LIFE VIRUS - Before allowing you to delete any file, it first asks
you if you've considered the alternatives.
RIGHT-TO-LIFE VIRUS 2 - Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how
old it is. It you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a
counselor about possible alternatives.
RIGHT-WING-HARDLINER VIRUS - Won't allow any changes on your system, but
keeps saying that things will get better as soon as it takes over the
Whitehouse.
SEARS VIRUS - Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power
supply, and a set of shocks.
SPRINT VIRUS - Periodically runs sound file of a pin dropping.
STAR TREK VIRUS - Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
before.
TED KENNEDY VIRUS - Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened.
TED TURNER VIRUS - Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
TERRY RANDLE VIRUS - Prints, "Oh no you don't," whenever you choose, "Abort"
from the "Abort, Retry, Ignore" message.
TEXAS VIRUS - Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
TIPPER GORE VIRUS - When you attempt to play any sound file, it pops up a
warning window stating that some lyrics may be unsuitable for children.
WARREN COMMISSION VIRUS - Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.
Jun 28, 2002, 9:53am
Had pc problems for years. Thet is whut is rong! mY pc is enfected wit a Dan
Quayle Virus 3! ;oD Thanks Wizard. LOL. Laughed so hard I nearly choked on
my first cup of coffee!
[View Quote]"wizard myrddin" <izzy at rdescape.com> wrote in message
news:3d1c1160 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> Boy that got your attention, Fun time folks..
>
> Canonical List of Computer Viruses
>
.............................................................................
> ...
> ADAM AND EVE VIRUS - Takes a couple of bytes out of your apple.
>
> AIRLINE VIRUS - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
>
> AL GORE UNIX VIRUS - Whenever you inquire about one of your environment
> variables, it shows you the current setting, but then tacks on an alarmist
> message concerning the future of the variable.
>
> ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS - Terminates and stays resident. It'll be
back.
>
> AT&T VIRUS - constantly reminds you how it's giving you much better
service
> than the other viruses.
>
> AT&T NEW VIRUS - every three minutes it complains that it's sick of
circles.
>
> BILL CLINTON VIRUS - This virus mutates from region to region. We're not
> sure what it does.
>
> BILLY GRAHAM VIRUS - When you save a file, it prints, "I am saved!" to the
> screen.
>
> BIRTHDAY VIRUS - Keeps advancing your clock by another year.
>
> BOBBIT VIRUS - It turns a 7.5meg hardrive to a 3 1/2 inch floppy drive.
>
> BUSH VIRUS - Before you buy a new computer, it claims that your old
computer
> works on voodoo programming. After you buy your new computer, it maintains
> the course of your old computer. For to do otherwise wouldn't be prudent
at
> this juncture.
>
> CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS - Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in
> the reviews, but you still love it!
>
> CLEVELAND INDIANS VIRUS - Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
>
> CLINTON VIRUS - Fills you with the compulsion to cut wasteful government
> spending at the same time that it compels you to hop into an airplane for
a
> $200.00 haircut at taxpayer expense.
>
> CONGRESS VIRUS - Overdraws your disk space.
>
> CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS - Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously,
> but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
>
> CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS 2 - The computer locks up, screen splits erratically
> with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the
> problem.
>
> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS - Forces your computer to play "PGA Tour" from 10 am to 4
> pm, 6 days a week.
>
> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS 2 - Prevents your processes from spawning any child
without
> first joining into a binary network. Also said to cause speling erors in
> files stored on your disk.
>
> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS 3 - Their is sumthing rong with your compueter, ewe just
> can't figyour out watt.
>
> DAVID DUKE VIRUS - Makes your screen go completely white.
>
> ELVIS VIRUS - Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then
> self-destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations
> across rural America.
>
> FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
> units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to
be
> the most important part of the computer.
>
> FREUDIAN VIRUS - Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
> motherboard.
>
> GALLUP VIRUS - Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
> their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
> error).
>
> GEORGE BUSH VIRUS - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until
> November.
>
> GEORGE BUSH VIRUS 2 - It starts by boldly stating, "Read my test... no new
> files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard
> drive with new files, then blames it on the Congress Virus.
>
> GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS - nothing works on your system, but all your
> diagnostic software says everything is just fine.
>
> GRIDLOCK VIRUS - Keeps shuffling information that it calls 'bills' between
> your CPU and BUS, sending messages like 'House Bill #xxxx is unacceptable
to
> Senate'. Never gets any work done.
>
> H ROSS PEROT VIRUS - Runs for awhile, leaves the system, then re-appears,
> but with less effect.
>
> H ROSS PEROT VIRUS 2 - Same as the Jerry Brown Virus, only nicer fonts are
> used, and it appears to have had a lot more money put into its
development.
>
> H ROSS PEROT VIRUS 3 - Activates every component in your system, just
before
> the whole thing quits.
>
> HEALTH CARE VIRUS - Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and
> sends you a bill for $4,500.
>
> IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS - Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then
> subtracts money from your Quicken Account, and spends it all on expensive
> shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
>
> JERRY BROWN VIRUS - Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.
>
> JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS - Nobody can find it.
>
> • JOHNNY COCHRANE VIRUS - Constantly gloats on how fast it us when
> compared to the Marcia Clark Virus.
>
> JOKE VIRUS - poses as a harmless list of funny computer virus names!
>
> Is quickly passed from one user to all other users known via e-mail,
> consequently consuming all known network resources. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS -
> Enables irreparably damaged files to delete themselves.
>
> JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS 2 - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants
to.
>
> LAPD VIRUS - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC
and
> erases then in "self-defense."
>
> LEFT-WING-DRIVEL VIRUS - Deletes all monetary files, but keeps smiling and
> sending messages about how the economy is going to get better.
>
> MARCIA CLARK VIRUS - Asks for more time every time you give a command.
>
> MARIO CUOMO VIRUS - A very powerful virus, if it would ever run.
>
> MCI VIRUS - Encourages you to send it to your friends and family.
>
> MCI VIRUS 2 - Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too
much
> for the AT&T VIRUS.
>
> MCI NEW VIRUS - Every three minutes it asks another true/false question.
>
> MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS - Hard to identify because it is constantly altering
> its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
>
> NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS - Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
mad
> just thinking about it.
>
> NIKE VIRUS - Just does it!
>
> OLLIE NORTH VIRUS - Turns your printer into a document shredder.
>
> OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS - First appears on system as a 120 KB file, later
swells
> to 200 KB, then returns to its original size. Periodic printouts appear to
> keep you aprised.
>
> PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS - Shifts all output to the extreme right of the screen.
>
> PAUL REVERE VIRUS - This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It
warns
> you of impending hard disk attack--once if by LAN, twice if by C:\.
>
> PAUL TSONGAS VIRUS - Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa
Claus."
>
> PBS VIRUS - Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
>
> POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS - prefers to call itself an "electronic
> microorganism".
>
> PONZI VIRUS - It logs onto your bank's computer and transfers $1 into the
> accounts of the owners of the last 10 computers it was on. It then
attaches
> itself to the next 10 items of mail you send.
>
> REAGAN VIRUS - Puts your computer to sleep for eight years. When your
> computer wakes up, you're three trillion more dollars in debt.
>
> RICHARD NIXON VIRUS - Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus." You can wipe
it
> out, but it always makes a comeback.
>
> RIGHT-TO-LIFE VIRUS - Before allowing you to delete any file, it first
asks
> you if you've considered the alternatives.
>
> RIGHT-TO-LIFE VIRUS 2 - Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of
how
> old it is. It you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a
> counselor about possible alternatives.
>
> RIGHT-WING-HARDLINER VIRUS - Won't allow any changes on your system, but
> keeps saying that things will get better as soon as it takes over the
> Whitehouse.
>
> SEARS VIRUS - Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power
> supply, and a set of shocks.
>
> SPRINT VIRUS - Periodically runs sound file of a pin dropping.
>
> STAR TREK VIRUS - Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
> before.
>
> TED KENNEDY VIRUS - Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened.
>
> TED TURNER VIRUS - Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
>
> TERRY RANDLE VIRUS - Prints, "Oh no you don't," whenever you choose,
"Abort"
> from the "Abort, Retry, Ignore" message.
>
> TEXAS VIRUS - Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
>
> TIPPER GORE VIRUS - When you attempt to play any sound file, it pops up a
> warning window stating that some lyrics may be unsuitable for children.
>
> WARREN COMMISSION VIRUS - Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.
>
>
>
|
Jun 28, 2002, 11:51am
Good ones ! LOL
Hey.... how about a Clint Eastwood virus - When you go to open a file , a
question pops up on screen asking ; Do you feel lucky punk ?....well do yu ?
(click yes or no)
__________
[View Quote]"wizard myrddin" <izzy at rdescape.com> wrote in message
news:3d1c1160 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> Boy that got your attention, Fun time folks..
>
> Canonical List of Computer Viruses
>
.............................................................................
> ...
> ADAM AND EVE VIRUS - Takes a couple of bytes out of your apple.
>
> AIRLINE VIRUS - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
>
> AL GORE UNIX VIRUS - Whenever you inquire about one of your environment
> variables, it shows you the current setting, but then tacks on an alarmist
> message concerning the future of the variable.
>
> ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS - Terminates and stays resident. It'll be
back.
>
> AT&T VIRUS - constantly reminds you how it's giving you much better
service
> than the other viruses.
>
> AT&T NEW VIRUS - every three minutes it complains that it's sick of
circles.
>
> BILL CLINTON VIRUS - This virus mutates from region to region. We're not
> sure what it does.
>
> BILLY GRAHAM VIRUS - When you save a file, it prints, "I am saved!" to the
> screen.
>
> BIRTHDAY VIRUS - Keeps advancing your clock by another year.
>
> BOBBIT VIRUS - It turns a 7.5meg hardrive to a 3 1/2 inch floppy drive.
>
> BUSH VIRUS - Before you buy a new computer, it claims that your old
computer
> works on voodoo programming. After you buy your new computer, it maintains
> the course of your old computer. For to do otherwise wouldn't be prudent
at
> this juncture.
>
> CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS - Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in
> the reviews, but you still love it!
>
> CLEVELAND INDIANS VIRUS - Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
>
> CLINTON VIRUS - Fills you with the compulsion to cut wasteful government
> spending at the same time that it compels you to hop into an airplane for
a
> $200.00 haircut at taxpayer expense.
>
> CONGRESS VIRUS - Overdraws your disk space.
>
> CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS - Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously,
> but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
>
> CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS 2 - The computer locks up, screen splits erratically
> with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the
> problem.
>
> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS - Forces your computer to play "PGA Tour" from 10 am to 4
> pm, 6 days a week.
>
> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS 2 - Prevents your processes from spawning any child
without
> first joining into a binary network. Also said to cause speling erors in
> files stored on your disk.
>
> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS 3 - Their is sumthing rong with your compueter, ewe just
> can't figyour out watt.
>
> DAVID DUKE VIRUS - Makes your screen go completely white.
>
> ELVIS VIRUS - Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then
> self-destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations
> across rural America.
>
> FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
> units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to
be
> the most important part of the computer.
>
> FREUDIAN VIRUS - Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
> motherboard.
>
> GALLUP VIRUS - Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
> their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
> error).
>
> GEORGE BUSH VIRUS - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until
> November.
>
> GEORGE BUSH VIRUS 2 - It starts by boldly stating, "Read my test... no new
> files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard
> drive with new files, then blames it on the Congress Virus.
>
> GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS - nothing works on your system, but all your
> diagnostic software says everything is just fine.
>
> GRIDLOCK VIRUS - Keeps shuffling information that it calls 'bills' between
> your CPU and BUS, sending messages like 'House Bill #xxxx is unacceptable
to
> Senate'. Never gets any work done.
>
> H ROSS PEROT VIRUS - Runs for awhile, leaves the system, then re-appears,
> but with less effect.
>
> H ROSS PEROT VIRUS 2 - Same as the Jerry Brown Virus, only nicer fonts are
> used, and it appears to have had a lot more money put into its
development.
>
> H ROSS PEROT VIRUS 3 - Activates every component in your system, just
before
> the whole thing quits.
>
> HEALTH CARE VIRUS - Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and
> sends you a bill for $4,500.
>
> IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS - Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then
> subtracts money from your Quicken Account, and spends it all on expensive
> shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
>
> JERRY BROWN VIRUS - Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.
>
> JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS - Nobody can find it.
>
> • JOHNNY COCHRANE VIRUS - Constantly gloats on how fast it us when
> compared to the Marcia Clark Virus.
>
> JOKE VIRUS - poses as a harmless list of funny computer virus names!
>
> Is quickly passed from one user to all other users known via e-mail,
> consequently consuming all known network resources. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS -
> Enables irreparably damaged files to delete themselves.
>
> JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS 2 - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants
to.
>
> LAPD VIRUS - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC
and
> erases then in "self-defense."
>
> LEFT-WING-DRIVEL VIRUS - Deletes all monetary files, but keeps smiling and
> sending messages about how the economy is going to get better.
>
> MARCIA CLARK VIRUS - Asks for more time every time you give a command.
>
> MARIO CUOMO VIRUS - A very powerful virus, if it would ever run.
>
> MCI VIRUS - Encourages you to send it to your friends and family.
>
> MCI VIRUS 2 - Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too
much
> for the AT&T VIRUS.
>
> MCI NEW VIRUS - Every three minutes it asks another true/false question.
>
> MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS - Hard to identify because it is constantly altering
> its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
>
> NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS - Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
mad
> just thinking about it.
>
> NIKE VIRUS - Just does it!
>
> OLLIE NORTH VIRUS - Turns your printer into a document shredder.
>
> OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS - First appears on system as a 120 KB file, later
swells
> to 200 KB, then returns to its original size. Periodic printouts appear to
> keep you aprised.
>
> PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS - Shifts all output to the extreme right of the screen.
>
> PAUL REVERE VIRUS - This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It
warns
> you of impending hard disk attack--once if by LAN, twice if by C:\.
>
> PAUL TSONGAS VIRUS - Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa
Claus."
>
> PBS VIRUS - Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
>
> POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS - prefers to call itself an "electronic
> microorganism".
>
> PONZI VIRUS - It logs onto your bank's computer and transfers $1 into the
> accounts of the owners of the last 10 computers it was on. It then
attaches
> itself to the next 10 items of mail you send.
>
> REAGAN VIRUS - Puts your computer to sleep for eight years. When your
> computer wakes up, you're three trillion more dollars in debt.
>
> RICHARD NIXON VIRUS - Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus." You can wipe
it
> out, but it always makes a comeback.
>
> RIGHT-TO-LIFE VIRUS - Before allowing you to delete any file, it first
asks
> you if you've considered the alternatives.
>
> RIGHT-TO-LIFE VIRUS 2 - Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of
how
> old it is. It you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a
> counselor about possible alternatives.
>
> RIGHT-WING-HARDLINER VIRUS - Won't allow any changes on your system, but
> keeps saying that things will get better as soon as it takes over the
> Whitehouse.
>
> SEARS VIRUS - Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power
> supply, and a set of shocks.
>
> SPRINT VIRUS - Periodically runs sound file of a pin dropping.
>
> STAR TREK VIRUS - Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
> before.
>
> TED KENNEDY VIRUS - Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened.
>
> TED TURNER VIRUS - Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
>
> TERRY RANDLE VIRUS - Prints, "Oh no you don't," whenever you choose,
"Abort"
> from the "Abort, Retry, Ignore" message.
>
> TEXAS VIRUS - Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
>
> TIPPER GORE VIRUS - When you attempt to play any sound file, it pops up a
> warning window stating that some lyrics may be unsuitable for children.
>
> WARREN COMMISSION VIRUS - Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.
>
>
>
|
Jun 28, 2002, 2:42pm
DICK CHENEY VIRUS - Reformats your harddrive every 3 days.
Nice, gave me a good laugh. And trust me, thats hard to do at this time of
the morning :-D
[View Quote]"wizard myrddin" <izzy at rdescape.com> wrote in message
news:3d1c1160 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> Boy that got your attention, Fun time folks..
>
> Canonical List of Computer Viruses
>
.............................................................................
> ...
> ADAM AND EVE VIRUS - Takes a couple of bytes out of your apple.
>
> AIRLINE VIRUS - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
>
> AL GORE UNIX VIRUS - Whenever you inquire about one of your environment
> variables, it shows you the current setting, but then tacks on an alarmist
> message concerning the future of the variable.
>
> ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS - Terminates and stays resident. It'll be
back.
>
> AT&T VIRUS - constantly reminds you how it's giving you much better
service
> than the other viruses.
>
> AT&T NEW VIRUS - every three minutes it complains that it's sick of
circles.
>
> BILL CLINTON VIRUS - This virus mutates from region to region. We're not
> sure what it does.
>
> BILLY GRAHAM VIRUS - When you save a file, it prints, "I am saved!" to the
> screen.
>
> BIRTHDAY VIRUS - Keeps advancing your clock by another year.
>
> BOBBIT VIRUS - It turns a 7.5meg hardrive to a 3 1/2 inch floppy drive.
>
> BUSH VIRUS - Before you buy a new computer, it claims that your old
computer
> works on voodoo programming. After you buy your new computer, it maintains
> the course of your old computer. For to do otherwise wouldn't be prudent
at
> this juncture.
>
> CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS - Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in
> the reviews, but you still love it!
>
> CLEVELAND INDIANS VIRUS - Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
>
> CLINTON VIRUS - Fills you with the compulsion to cut wasteful government
> spending at the same time that it compels you to hop into an airplane for
a
> $200.00 haircut at taxpayer expense.
>
> CONGRESS VIRUS - Overdraws your disk space.
>
> CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS - Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously,
> but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
>
> CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS 2 - The computer locks up, screen splits erratically
> with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the
> problem.
>
> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS - Forces your computer to play "PGA Tour" from 10 am to 4
> pm, 6 days a week.
>
> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS 2 - Prevents your processes from spawning any child
without
> first joining into a binary network. Also said to cause speling erors in
> files stored on your disk.
>
> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS 3 - Their is sumthing rong with your compueter, ewe just
> can't figyour out watt.
>
> DAVID DUKE VIRUS - Makes your screen go completely white.
>
> ELVIS VIRUS - Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then
> self-destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations
> across rural America.
>
> FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
> units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to
be
> the most important part of the computer.
>
> FREUDIAN VIRUS - Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
> motherboard.
>
> GALLUP VIRUS - Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
> their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
> error).
>
> GEORGE BUSH VIRUS - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until
> November.
>
> GEORGE BUSH VIRUS 2 - It starts by boldly stating, "Read my test... no new
> files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard
> drive with new files, then blames it on the Congress Virus.
>
> GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS - nothing works on your system, but all your
> diagnostic software says everything is just fine.
>
> GRIDLOCK VIRUS - Keeps shuffling information that it calls 'bills' between
> your CPU and BUS, sending messages like 'House Bill #xxxx is unacceptable
to
> Senate'. Never gets any work done.
>
> H ROSS PEROT VIRUS - Runs for awhile, leaves the system, then re-appears,
> but with less effect.
>
> H ROSS PEROT VIRUS 2 - Same as the Jerry Brown Virus, only nicer fonts are
> used, and it appears to have had a lot more money put into its
development.
>
> H ROSS PEROT VIRUS 3 - Activates every component in your system, just
before
> the whole thing quits.
>
> HEALTH CARE VIRUS - Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and
> sends you a bill for $4,500.
>
> IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS - Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then
> subtracts money from your Quicken Account, and spends it all on expensive
> shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
>
> JERRY BROWN VIRUS - Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.
>
> JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS - Nobody can find it.
>
> • JOHNNY COCHRANE VIRUS - Constantly gloats on how fast it us when
> compared to the Marcia Clark Virus.
>
> JOKE VIRUS - poses as a harmless list of funny computer virus names!
>
> Is quickly passed from one user to all other users known via e-mail,
> consequently consuming all known network resources. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS -
> Enables irreparably damaged files to delete themselves.
>
> JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS 2 - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants
to.
>
> LAPD VIRUS - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC
and
> erases then in "self-defense."
>
> LEFT-WING-DRIVEL VIRUS - Deletes all monetary files, but keeps smiling and
> sending messages about how the economy is going to get better.
>
> MARCIA CLARK VIRUS - Asks for more time every time you give a command.
>
> MARIO CUOMO VIRUS - A very powerful virus, if it would ever run.
>
> MCI VIRUS - Encourages you to send it to your friends and family.
>
> MCI VIRUS 2 - Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too
much
> for the AT&T VIRUS.
>
> MCI NEW VIRUS - Every three minutes it asks another true/false question.
>
> MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS - Hard to identify because it is constantly altering
> its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
>
> NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS - Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
mad
> just thinking about it.
>
> NIKE VIRUS - Just does it!
>
> OLLIE NORTH VIRUS - Turns your printer into a document shredder.
>
> OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS - First appears on system as a 120 KB file, later
swells
> to 200 KB, then returns to its original size. Periodic printouts appear to
> keep you aprised.
>
> PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS - Shifts all output to the extreme right of the screen.
>
> PAUL REVERE VIRUS - This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It
warns
> you of impending hard disk attack--once if by LAN, twice if by C:\.
>
> PAUL TSONGAS VIRUS - Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa
Claus."
>
> PBS VIRUS - Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
>
> POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS - prefers to call itself an "electronic
> microorganism".
>
> PONZI VIRUS - It logs onto your bank's computer and transfers $1 into the
> accounts of the owners of the last 10 computers it was on. It then
attaches
> itself to the next 10 items of mail you send.
>
> REAGAN VIRUS - Puts your computer to sleep for eight years. When your
> computer wakes up, you're three trillion more dollars in debt.
>
> RICHARD NIXON VIRUS - Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus." You can wipe
it
> out, but it always makes a comeback.
>
> RIGHT-TO-LIFE VIRUS - Before allowing you to delete any file, it first
asks
> you if you've considered the alternatives.
>
> RIGHT-TO-LIFE VIRUS 2 - Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of
how
> old it is. It you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a
> counselor about possible alternatives.
>
> RIGHT-WING-HARDLINER VIRUS - Won't allow any changes on your system, but
> keeps saying that things will get better as soon as it takes over the
> Whitehouse.
>
> SEARS VIRUS - Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power
> supply, and a set of shocks.
>
> SPRINT VIRUS - Periodically runs sound file of a pin dropping.
>
> STAR TREK VIRUS - Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
> before.
>
> TED KENNEDY VIRUS - Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened.
>
> TED TURNER VIRUS - Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
>
> TERRY RANDLE VIRUS - Prints, "Oh no you don't," whenever you choose,
"Abort"
> from the "Abort, Retry, Ignore" message.
>
> TEXAS VIRUS - Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
>
> TIPPER GORE VIRUS - When you attempt to play any sound file, it pops up a
> warning window stating that some lyrics may be unsuitable for children.
>
> WARREN COMMISSION VIRUS - Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.
>
>
>
|
Jun 29, 2002, 3:03am
LOL that was hilarious wiz
[View Quote]"wizard myrddin" <izzy at rdescape.com> wrote in message
news:3d1c1160 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
|
Jun 29, 2002, 9:41am
Opps forgot one important one
EEP Virus - You think its finally gone from your computer and then it
arrives back with a vengeance
^^
Wiz
[View Quote]"mike zimmer" <mike at remmiz.com> wrote in message
news:3d1c91f7 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> DICK CHENEY VIRUS - Reformats your harddrive every 3 days.
>
> Nice, gave me a good laugh. And trust me, thats hard to do at this time of
> the morning :-D
>
> "wizard myrddin" <izzy at rdescape.com> wrote in message
> news:3d1c1160 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
>
.............................................................................
alarmist
> back.
> service
> circles.
the
> computer
maintains
> at
in
286/AT.
for
> a
simultaneously,
4
> without
just
little
> be
until
new
hard
between
unacceptable
> to
re-appears,
are
> development.
> before
and
then
expensive
number.
VIRUS -
> to.
> and
and
> much
altering
car.
> mad
> swells
to
screen.
> warns
> Claus."
the
> attaches
wipe
> it
> asks
> how
a
> "Abort"
a
years.
>
>
|
Jun 29, 2002, 4:45pm
ROFL :-D
[View Quote]"wizard myrddin" <admin at rdescape.co.uk> wrote in message
news:3d1d9ccc at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> Opps forgot one important one
>
> EEP Virus - You think its finally gone from your computer and then it
> arrives back with a vengeance
>
> ^^
> Wiz
> "mike zimmer" <mike at remmiz.com> wrote in message
> news:3d1c91f7 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
of
>
.............................................................................
environment
> alarmist
not
> the
drive.
> maintains
prudent
> in
> 286/AT.
government
> for
> simultaneously,
erratically
to
> 4
in
> just
stations
> little
to
of
of
> until
> new
> hard
your
> between
> unacceptable
> re-appears,
> are
> and
> then
> expensive
> number.
when
> VIRUS -
wants
PC
> and
too
question.
> altering
> car.
people
appear
> to
> screen.
> the
> wipe
of
see
> a
but
gone
happened.
up
> a
children.
> years.
>
>
|
Jun 30, 2002, 5:48pm
ROFL
[View Quote]"wizard myrddin" <izzy at rdescape.com> wrote in message
news:3d1c1160 at server1.Activeworlds.com...
> Boy that got your attention, Fun time folks..
>
> Canonical List of Computer Viruses
>
.............................................................................
> ...
> ADAM AND EVE VIRUS - Takes a couple of bytes out of your apple.
>
> AIRLINE VIRUS - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
>
> AL GORE UNIX VIRUS - Whenever you inquire about one of your environment
> variables, it shows you the current setting, but then tacks on an alarmist
> message concerning the future of the variable.
>
> ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS - Terminates and stays resident. It'll be
back.
>
> AT&T VIRUS - constantly reminds you how it's giving you much better
service
> than the other viruses.
>
> AT&T NEW VIRUS - every three minutes it complains that it's sick of
circles.
>
> BILL CLINTON VIRUS - This virus mutates from region to region. We're not
> sure what it does.
>
> BILLY GRAHAM VIRUS - When you save a file, it prints, "I am saved!" to the
> screen.
>
> BIRTHDAY VIRUS - Keeps advancing your clock by another year.
>
> BOBBIT VIRUS - It turns a 7.5meg hardrive to a 3 1/2 inch floppy drive.
>
> BUSH VIRUS - Before you buy a new computer, it claims that your old
computer
> works on voodoo programming. After you buy your new computer, it maintains
> the course of your old computer. For to do otherwise wouldn't be prudent
at
> this juncture.
>
> CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS - Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in
> the reviews, but you still love it!
>
> CLEVELAND INDIANS VIRUS - Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
>
> CLINTON VIRUS - Fills you with the compulsion to cut wasteful government
> spending at the same time that it compels you to hop into an airplane for
a
> $200.00 haircut at taxpayer expense.
>
> CONGRESS VIRUS - Overdraws your disk space.
>
> CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS - Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously,
> but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
>
> CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS 2 - The computer locks up, screen splits erratically
> with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the
> problem.
>
> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS - Forces your computer to play "PGA Tour" from 10 am to 4
> pm, 6 days a week.
>
> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS 2 - Prevents your processes from spawning any child
without
> first joining into a binary network. Also said to cause speling erors in
> files stored on your disk.
>
> DAN QUAYLE VIRUS 3 - Their is sumthing rong with your compueter, ewe just
> can't figyour out watt.
>
> DAVID DUKE VIRUS - Makes your screen go completely white.
>
> ELVIS VIRUS - Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then
> self-destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations
> across rural America.
>
> FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
> units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to
be
> the most important part of the computer.
>
> FREUDIAN VIRUS - Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
> motherboard.
>
> GALLUP VIRUS - Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
> their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
> error).
>
> GEORGE BUSH VIRUS - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until
> November.
>
> GEORGE BUSH VIRUS 2 - It starts by boldly stating, "Read my test... no new
> files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard
> drive with new files, then blames it on the Congress Virus.
>
> GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS - nothing works on your system, but all your
> diagnostic software says everything is just fine.
>
> GRIDLOCK VIRUS - Keeps shuffling information that it calls 'bills' between
> your CPU and BUS, sending messages like 'House Bill #xxxx is unacceptable
to
> Senate'. Never gets any work done.
>
> H ROSS PEROT VIRUS - Runs for awhile, leaves the system, then re-appears,
> but with less effect.
>
> H ROSS PEROT VIRUS 2 - Same as the Jerry Brown Virus, only nicer fonts are
> used, and it appears to have had a lot more money put into its
development.
>
> H ROSS PEROT VIRUS 3 - Activates every component in your system, just
before
> the whole thing quits.
>
> HEALTH CARE VIRUS - Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and
> sends you a bill for $4,500.
>
> IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS - Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then
> subtracts money from your Quicken Account, and spends it all on expensive
> shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
>
> JERRY BROWN VIRUS - Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.
>
> JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS - Nobody can find it.
>
> • JOHNNY COCHRANE VIRUS - Constantly gloats on how fast it us when
> compared to the Marcia Clark Virus.
>
> JOKE VIRUS - poses as a harmless list of funny computer virus names!
>
> Is quickly passed from one user to all other users known via e-mail,
> consequently consuming all known network resources. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS -
> Enables irreparably damaged files to delete themselves.
>
> JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS 2 - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants
to.
>
> LAPD VIRUS - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC
and
> erases then in "self-defense."
>
> LEFT-WING-DRIVEL VIRUS - Deletes all monetary files, but keeps smiling and
> sending messages about how the economy is going to get better.
>
> MARCIA CLARK VIRUS - Asks for more time every time you give a command.
>
> MARIO CUOMO VIRUS - A very powerful virus, if it would ever run.
>
> MCI VIRUS - Encourages you to send it to your friends and family.
>
> MCI VIRUS 2 - Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too
much
> for the AT&T VIRUS.
>
> MCI NEW VIRUS - Every three minutes it asks another true/false question.
>
> MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS - Hard to identify because it is constantly altering
> its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
>
> NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS - Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
mad
> just thinking about it.
>
> NIKE VIRUS - Just does it!
>
> OLLIE NORTH VIRUS - Turns your printer into a document shredder.
>
> OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS - First appears on system as a 120 KB file, later
swells
> to 200 KB, then returns to its original size. Periodic printouts appear to
> keep you aprised.
>
> PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS - Shifts all output to the extreme right of the screen.
>
> PAUL REVERE VIRUS - This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It
warns
> you of impending hard disk attack--once if by LAN, twice if by C:\.
>
> PAUL TSONGAS VIRUS - Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa
Claus."
>
> PBS VIRUS - Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
>
> POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS - prefers to call itself an "electronic
> microorganism".
>
> PONZI VIRUS - It logs onto your bank's computer and transfers $1 into the
> accounts of the owners of the last 10 computers it was on. It then
attaches
> itself to the next 10 items of mail you send.
>
> REAGAN VIRUS - Puts your computer to sleep for eight years. When your
> computer wakes up, you're three trillion more dollars in debt.
>
> RICHARD NIXON VIRUS - Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus." You can wipe
it
> out, but it always makes a comeback.
>
> RIGHT-TO-LIFE VIRUS - Before allowing you to delete any file, it first
asks
> you if you've considered the alternatives.
>
> RIGHT-TO-LIFE VIRUS 2 - Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of
how
> old it is. It you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a
> counselor about possible alternatives.
>
> RIGHT-WING-HARDLINER VIRUS - Won't allow any changes on your system, but
> keeps saying that things will get better as soon as it takes over the
> Whitehouse.
>
> SEARS VIRUS - Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power
> supply, and a set of shocks.
>
> SPRINT VIRUS - Periodically runs sound file of a pin dropping.
>
> STAR TREK VIRUS - Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
> before.
>
> TED KENNEDY VIRUS - Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened.
>
> TED TURNER VIRUS - Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
>
> TERRY RANDLE VIRUS - Prints, "Oh no you don't," whenever you choose,
"Abort"
> from the "Abort, Retry, Ignore" message.
>
> TEXAS VIRUS - Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
>
> TIPPER GORE VIRUS - When you attempt to play any sound file, it pops up a
> warning window stating that some lyrics may be unsuitable for children.
>
> WARREN COMMISSION VIRUS - Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.
>
>
>
|
|
