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Sep 26, 2002, 2:37pm

Hi all, found this on my travels.Any noticeable similarity to some members
if purely a accident.

It a bit long but worth a read:-)

Newsgroup Fauna
A survey of the critters one can encounter in newsgroups

The Pro

The pro is a professional male, nearing middle age, and posting exclusively
to newsgroups related to his employment. He's made it his mission to answer
every post that appears. He maintains the FAQ, and occasionally offers to
moderate the group. His wife thinks he's having an affair, but since she's
gotten cozy with the neighbor across the street, she doesn't really mind as
long as he keeps bringing his paycheck home.

The Nerd

The nerd can be of an age ranging from barely pubescent to almost senile,
and tends to be male by a 4/5 preponderance. The nerd restricts his posting
habits to techie forums and gets involved in heated debates in news.*
hierarchies. Since the nerd refuses to form emotional attachements to human
beings, no one thinks he's having an affair.

The Geek

The geek is a critter distinct from the nerd, and more generally male. Geeks
surf newsgroups in search for a home, and tend to settle in wherever a
suitably geeky subject is being discussed. Eventually they are the only one
left posting to the thread, and move on in search of a new newsgroup when it
doesn't look like anyone wants to talk about it anymore. No one cares if
they are having an affair. Geeks are college graduates who haven't been
motivated to find a job other than flipping burgers.

The Crusader

Crusaders are fairly rare as individuals, but since their output is so
prolific, they appear to be more numerous than they really are. Crusaders
pick a particular topic, and, instead of waiting for it to appear, like the
geek, they introduce it in every newsgroup that might have the remotest
interest in it, and any newsgroups where DejaNews shows it was ever
mentioned. Then he harps on the topic until everyone has killfiled him.
Crusaders can be male or female, and tend to be middle aged. They are close
relatives to the Pro, but a lot more annoying. Interestingly, they manage to
maintain personal relationships, as well, and their SOs know that they have
no time for affairs. Some crusaders eventually acquire a cancel program and
attempt to shut down anyone who disagrees with them.

The Jerk

Jerks, much like crusaders, are rare, but high profile critters. Jerks tend
to fixate on a particular imagined or real slight done them, and then spend
hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars trying to pay back the insult by
hanging around newsgroups and trying to start fights. Jerks tend to run in
packs, and congregate in certain newsgroups from where they set out in
groups to take on the task of making life in other newsgroups as miserable
as possible. Jerks tend to have no social life, as most of their money is
spent getting new ISP accounts as the old ones are getting canceled due to
TOS violations. Jerks often post from anonymizers, and complain about the
cabal.

The Regular

Newsgroup regulars worry that they spend too much time on the internet. They
contribute to discussions in the spirit of the group, and try to conform to
expected standards of behavior for the group. Regulars stay away from flame
wars, and are happiest if they have access to a grown up news reader with
bozo filters and priority lists. When regulars attempt to run the group,
they may metamorphose into pros. When regulars get a real life, they
sometimes become undead. Regulars tend to reassure everyone that there is no
cabal (TINC).

The Undead

Undead are former regulars, whose contributions have been so valuable that
every now and then other regulars ask, "whatever became of so-and-so?" The
other regulars then answer, "You mean whatsisface? He got a new job." Undead
may use DejaNews to post occasional reminders that they aren't quite dead,
yet, and to continue trying to follow their newsgroups. Undead definitely
have a life.

The Newbie

Newbies are the larvae of newsgroup critters. With the proper care and
feeding, a newbie may become a regular. Treated poorly, and kicked for the
wrong reason, newbies quickly become jerks or crusaders. Some newbies are
born geeks or nerds, and there's little that can be done about that, save
lobotomies or extended vacations in Yugoslavia. Newbies come from all walks
of life, and may have SOs who wonder out loud if this internet thing is
going to ruin their relationship.

The Cluebie

Cluebies are second stage newbies, about to undergo their metamorphosis.
Cluebies have figured out what their group is doing, and frequently refer to
their group as a "froup." Cluebies indulge in violently flaming any newbie
that steps out of line, and are thus often the cause for pushing newbies
into jerkdom. Cluebies must be carefully guided and encouraged by the
regulars. Cluebies may have SOs who are now threatening to walk out on them,
which may be why cluebies are given to violent flames.


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Trolls
There are two common meanings for troll in English.

a) a verb meaning to catch fish by dragging a baited hook through the water
hoping a fish will think the bait is alive and will strike at it.

The original NewsGroup definition referred to persons who posted
deliberately stupid or insulting messages with the intent to get other
posters to "strike" at their bait (and without any intention of sharing real
information or opinions). The troller considers it a good job if lots of
people waste their time trying to get the troller to withdraw the stupid or
insulting remarks.

b) a second meaning of troll is gnome, particularly one familiar to nearly
all Americans from the Scandinavian tale The Three Billy Goats Gruff in
which an evil troll lives beneath a bridge and threatens to eat anyone who
crosses the bridge.

Since the one who trolls postings (in the manner of a fisherman) is
generally evil and insulting (in the manner of the troll beneath the bridge)
and the two words are spelled identically in English, the Newsgroup usage
combines both meanings: an evil, insulting, stupid person who posts nonsense
to get other posters to waste time responding.

How to tell if you are being trolled or when to know when an argument is
over.

Here a short list to help you tell when the argument is over: Or how to spot
a troll in the making!

1.. Spelling flames
2.. Grammar flames
3.. Insulting a sig file
4.. Insulting the person, or being rude
5.. Claiming victory
6.. In some manner saying that they leave the last word to you cause
obviously your ego needs it.

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