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Jul 23, 2002, 8:20am

Not really, just Humour
Software Licence Agreement
a.. Important: This is important. It cost us a heap of cash to have it
written, and you'd better read it, or else. Read it right now too, arsehole,
or you'll be sorry. Especially DON'T just rip the flap open without paying
any attention to this very important message. We'll know if you do! You'll
grow warts.
b.. Licence: This Licence Agreement has capital letters, and is effective
upon your removal or breaking of the disclaimer seal on the Program
Diskettes, or a fingernail, whichever is earlier. It shall continue until
terminated, as indicated by it's placement in a receptacle considered by at
least one party to be a waste disposal container.
c.. Agreement: You acknowledge and agree that we have far too many
lawyers, and that you will not consider, perform or aid actions that grant
any lawyers purpose in their existance.
d.. Licence Fees: The licence fees unpaid by you are in consideration of
your continued solvency. But it doesn't matter, because soon we'll know what
you have, and just deduct the fees from your bank account. Please run the
included easy to use networking software and log onto our server for further
details. The first thiry minutes are free.
e.. Copyright: This software is ours, all ours. You just paid hundreds of
dollars for the blank diskettes and this excellent paper bag. You agree to
think yourself lucky that we'll generously let you make one backup copy, and
actually run our precious code on your lousy computer. There are no bugs in
this perfect code, so don't pester us with your stupid misunderstandings and
pathetic complaints.
f.. Costs of Litigation: These are to be taken as an indication of the
extreme folly of all parties' overdependence on legal contrivances.
g.. Government Licencee: Hi Senator. Don't forget who helped you out. Any
other problems, just call us.
h.. Language Software: If this is one of our language products (how should
we know) then you agree to have our copyright message plastered all through
your object code. Don't expect us to tell you how to avoid this.
i.. Additional Restrictions: See all those uniformed thugs over there?
Good. So don't get any funny ideas now. You don't want to make us angry, do
you? See you next upgrade.
j.. Limited Liability: This software is provided "as is", whatever that
is. You understand it's very complicated, far beyond your comprehension, so
how should we know what will happen when you use it wrong. There may even be
some risk involved, but that's your problem. Why, even we have trouble with
it on bad days.
k.. Governing Law: This License Agreement shall be construed and governed
in accordance with the laws of the State of Inebriation.

Jul 24, 2002, 9:25am

Hehe! ^_^

<D a n>
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