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Aug 31, 2002, 8:29pm

Actually, Mozilla does have a spell checking module for download, which I have installed. There are no spelling errors in my post that I am aware of.

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Aug 31, 2002, 8:40pm

Why should it come pre-installed? Customized installation is much more efficient, especially for those of us with severely limited bandwidth. Unless you can't specify which components to download and install during Netscape's installation, I wouldn't bother with mindlessly downloading *all* of the installation files.

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Aug 31, 2002, 9:43pm

[View Quote] That's the kind of installer I was talking about. I was assuming that the NS installer came in one gargantuan file - like many (if not most) do.

Aug 30, 2002, 10:15am

A red head goes for a drive in the country and she has to stop as there is a farmer who is moving his sheep from one pasture to another across the road. She rolls down the window and says to the farmer, "If I can tell you the exact number of sheep that you have, can I keep one?"
The farmer figuring that a city girl would never be able to agreed.
The red head guesses the number and is 100% correct. I mean not off by one sheep.
The farmer is an honest man and tells her that she did guess the right number.
She gets out of her car, selects her animal and puts it in the car. Just before she drives away, the farmer asked her a question. "If I can tell you the real color of your hair can I have my dog back?

--

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly.
Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"
St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 196 years old!"

Aug 31, 2002, 4:25pm

I use Mozilla's mail-news program. I don't know how to set follow-ups in Outlook Express, but I *think* it's possible.

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Sep 1, 2002, 12:20am

http://zionworld.virtualave.net/shred/moznews.png (20.1 kilobytes)

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Sep 1, 2002, 12:41am

There was a knock on the door. It was the man from Microsoft.

"Not you again," I said.

"Sorry," he said, a little sheepishly. "I guess you know why I'm here."

Indeed I did. Microsoft's $300 million campaign to promote the Windows 98 operating system was meant to be universally effective, to convince every human being on the planet that Windows 98 was an essential, some would say integral, part of living. Problem was, not everyone had bought it. Specifically, I hadn't bought it. I was the Last Human Being Without Windows 98. And now this little man from Microsoft was at my door, and he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"No," I said.

"You know I can't take that," he said, pulling out a copy of Windows 98 from a briefcase. "Come on. Just one copy. That's all we ask."

"Not interested." I said. "Look, isn't there someone else you can go bother for a while? There's got to be someone else on the planet who doesn't have a copy."

"Well, no," The Microsoft man said. "You're the only one."

"You can't be serious. Not everyone on the planet has a computer," I said. "Hell, not everyone on the planet has a PC! Some people own Macintoshes, which run their own operating system. And some people who have PCs that run OS/2, though I hear that's just a rumor. In short, there are some people who just have no use for Windows 98."

The Microsoft man look perplexed. "I'm missing your point," he said.

"Use!" I screamed. "Use! Use! Use! Why BUY it, if you can't USE it?"

"Well, I don't know anything about this 'use' thing you're going on about," The Microsoft man said. "All I know is that according to our records, everyone else on the planet has a copy."

"People without computers?"

"Got 'em."

"Amazonian Indians?"

"We had to get some malaria shots to go in, but yes."

"The Amish."

"Check."

"Oh, come on," I said. "They don't even wear BUTTONS. How did you get them to buy a computer operating system?"

"We told them there were actually 98 very small windows in the box," the Microsoft man admitted. "We sort of lied. Which means we are all going to Hell, every single employee of Microsoft." He was somber for a minute, but then perked right up. "But that's not the point!" he said. "The point is, EVERYONE has a copy. Except you."

"So what?" I said. "If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you expect me to do it, too?"

"If we spent $300 million advertising it? Absolutely."

"No."

"Jeez, back to that again," the Microsoft man said. "Hey. I'll tell you what. I'll GIVE you a copy. For free. Just take it and install it on your computer." He waved the box in front of me.

"No," I said again. "No offense, pal. But I don't need it. And frankly, your whole advertising blitz has sort of offended me. I mean, it's a computer operating system! Great. Fine. Swell. Whatever. But you guys are advertising it like it creates world peace or something."

"It did."

"Pardon?"

"World peace. It was part of the original design. Really. One button access. Click on it, poof, end to strife and hunger. Simple."

"So what happened?"

"Well, you know," he said. "It took up a lot of space on the hard drive. We had to decide between it or the Microsoft Network. Anyway, we couldn't figure out how to make a profit off of world peace."

"Go away," I said.

"I can't," he said. "I'll be killed if I fail."

"You have got to be kidding," I said.

"Look," the Microsoft man said, "We sold this to the AMISH. The Amish! Right now, they're opening the boxes and figuring out they've been had. We'll be pitchforked if we ever step into Western Pennsylvania again. But we did it. So to have YOU holding out, well, it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing to the company. It's embarrassing to the product. It's embarrassing to BILL."

"Bill Gates does not care about me," I said.

"He's watching right now," the Microsoft man said. "Borrowed one of those military spy satellites just for the purpose. It's also got one of those high-powered lasers. You close that door on me, zap, I'm a pile of grey ash."

"He wouldn't do that," I said, "He might hit that copy of Windows 98 by accident."

"Oh, Bill's gotten pretty good with that laser," the Microsoft man said, nervously. "Okay. I wasn't supposed to do this, but you leave me no choice. If you take this copy of Windows 98, we will reward you handsomely. In fact, we'll give you your own Caribbean island! How does Montserrat sound?"

"Terrible. There's an active volcano there."

"It's only a small one," the Microsoft man said.

"Look," I said, "even if you DID convince me to take that copy of Windows 98, what would you do then? You'd have totally saturated the market. That would be it. No new worlds to conquer. What would you do then?"

The Microsoft man held up another box and gave it to me.

"'Windows 98....For Pets'?!?!?"

"There's a LOT of domestic animals out there," he said.

I shut the door quickly. There was a surprised yelp, the sound of a laser, and then nothing.

Sep 1, 2002, 2:12am

Just a note: unless I state otherwise, I did not write any of these stories/jokes.

This one I found in the index of http://www.pbbt.com/Directory/Jokes/Microsoft/

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Sep 1, 2002, 2:32pm

The newsgroups have never been, and never will be, a proper place for *personal* communication. Newsgroups are, by design, a medium for public announcements and group discussion. Personal communications do not belong here, especially when other modes for said communication are available.

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Sep 2, 2002, 1:01pm

You mean that we don't? Wow... who would have thought? :P

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Sep 2, 2002, 1:34pm

[View Quote] Ah -- no. My point was presented in sarcasm: not all of us think that we rule the world. Don't generalize.

Sep 2, 2002, 2:23pm

A good deal of our beloved technology is manufactured overseas. My motherboard manufacturer, Soyo, is based in Taiwan, along with VIA, the chipset designer. Of course, that's only one example: look at the cars that we drive.

It wouldn't really matter who's the most technologically advanced in an ideal situation: we should all share our knowledge and wealth. Of course, I won't live to see the day that actual cooperation is going to happen :P

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Sep 2, 2002, 8:13pm

Umm... in case you missed it, SWE said, "...so i doubt even my great grandchildren will see that day come :)"

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Sep 5, 2002, 3:22pm

At least the alleged males have a valid excuse for their behavior. Biological factors are only catalysts to stupidity: its root is always present.

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Sep 9, 2002, 11:41pm

Why? Because here it doesn't reach its optimal audience. The ChatZone community needs to set up its own forum or newsgroup if it wants to have a successful discussion group.

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Sep 9, 2002, 6:55pm

Example for the dimwitted: the illegal drug market.

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Sep 9, 2002, 7:02pm

Please attempt to contain your message in only one posting. Take your time to say what you want to say so that you don't have to make amendments or additions to your post after you've already posted it.

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Sep 9, 2002, 7:07pm

With... what, exactly? If you're going to make an annoying and pointless me-too post, then at least have the decency to quote in part or in full what the hell it is that you're referring to!

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Sep 9, 2002, 9:10pm

No, it doesn't says enough.

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Sep 10, 2002, 12:24am

Ah -- no. Simply because I am not telepathic does not mean that I am stupid. Use a bit of common sense; it'll do you good.

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Sep 10, 2002, 12:29am

It's simple Usenet protocol. Not everyone uses Outlook Express. By quoting relevant (and only relevant) text in your post, you not only clarify your message, you make it easier on those that use different news reading software than you do.

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Sep 12, 2002, 1:09pm

Don't be silly. Everyone knows that aliens eat human brains.

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Sep 12, 2002, 2:44pm

[View Quote] Actually, no I didn't. I was told it was quite scary, and scary movies tend to freak me out for a bit :P

Sep 10, 2002, 1:23pm

You managed to use quite a few swear words yourself. All you're going to end up doing is rousing him further. According to your header, you're using Outlook Express. So if he offends you, just filter him.

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Sep 20, 2002, 10:41pm

Begin sarcasm.

Cosnidering the fact that this person's main nick is Insanity, it isn't surprising that he's a multiple personality schizophrenic.

"Filmkr, InSaNiTy & the rest of the Heartfall Family..."

Note the use of the word 'family'. Do you consider your colleagues *family*? These Heartfall folks are obviously far too close to be just workers on some company team. The fact of the matter is that they all live in the cranium of one disturbed individual.

This particular disorder has been renamed the "Activeworlds.com, Inc. business strategy disease".

End sarcasm.

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Sep 11, 2002, 11:58am

http://users.htcomp.net/weis/practicalcats.html

Sep 13, 2002, 5:27pm

Um... if you want to duke it out with Eep, then take it to e-mail. We don't need to see any more of this here.

_________________________
/| /| | |
||__|| | Please do not |
/ O O\__ feed the Trolls. |
/ \ Thank You. |
/ \ \ |
/ _ \ \---------------------
/ |\____\ \ ||
/ | | | |\____/ ||
/ \|_|_|/ | _||
/ / \ |____| ||
/ | | | --|
| | | |____ --|
* _ | |_|_|_| | \-/
*-- _--\ _ \ | ||
/ _ \\ | / `
* / \_ /- | | |
* ___ c_c_c_C/ \C_c_c_c____________

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Sep 13, 2002, 6:02pm

I didn't do that one - I just found it and saved it a while ago =)

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Sep 14, 2002, 12:52am

Um... MilesTeg said nothing in his original post that blamed Sleepy E of anything, he simply stated a fact and asked a question. I think you may be reading a wee bit too much into the lines here...

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Sep 14, 2002, 9:54pm

If you're saying that having a boy fetish et all is unethical, then:

Ethical: conforming to accepted standards of social or professional behavior.

_Behavior_. A person's likes and dislikes or beliefs are completely ethical unless he or she acts upon them in unethical manner.

If people were judged by their thoughts rather than their actions, then we'd all be in jail for something.

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