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Oct 7, 2001, 3:56pm

[View Quote] --
<snipped> (cozmo-x.zapto.org)
--

Well done! I like the design - no ridicolous slow-loading bull crap. *Points
to the AW website design(s)*

Personally, I hate overuse of graphics and what-not. Your site is well
organized and everything is easy to find, without having to go through a
whole damn maze of picturized links to get to where you need to go.

Good luck,
Shred

Oct 12, 2001, 12:06am

[View Quote] Oh, screw off. I haven't seen one productive thing ever come out of that
immature mouth of yours, Internal Affairs. Do you have any self esteem at
all? It looks to me like you try to put down others to boost yourself. I
find it QUITE pathetic.

--
Shred
*Mutters*

Nov 3, 2001, 2:36pm

[View Quote] In some people's opinions, this might actually defeat the purpose(s) of the
UMS; but it could be made into a world option to ignore it. To me, it seems
fair that if a person pays for a world, then they should have the right to
block the universe messages.

-Shred

Nov 3, 2001, 2:41pm

[View Quote] Forgot to add the last part...

UMS priority, for emergencies and such. Like Moria said, we should be able
to block the uniserver message, but with some kind of priority system only
urgent messages would be displayed.

Aug 20, 2002, 4:39pm

A lot of people really don't like web based forums, so if it's possible, you might want to see if you can interface a web based form with a standard news server, that way you can post and read both ways. Does anyone know of an example?

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Aug 20, 2002, 4:36pm

Not to be pessimistic here, but any attempt at starting a new search engine is most likely doomed to failure. The internet already has fifty zillion search engines, and Google just about knocks the stuffing out of all of them.

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Aug 20, 2002, 5:50pm

.... which is what I said.

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Aug 20, 2002, 8:24pm

According to Google (boy, the irony's so thick you could cut it with a knife), he's referring to http://www.fastsearch.com

It actually has Flash components on its first page, so that's a huge mark down in my book. Search engines don't need to be flashy; they need to be efficient.

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Aug 21, 2002, 2:09pm

My search results via Google seem to be evenly distributed when I search for different key words that bring in quite a few results. If Google's taking bribes, I can't tell.

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Aug 23, 2002, 1:07am

"Give him cross-browser compatibility, or give him death!"

You might find this of interest, and might even want to promote the campaign by displaying one of its images on your site(s).

http://www.anybrowser.org/campaign/


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Aug 23, 2002, 5:06pm

By doing that much, you're covering the majority of Internet users out there. It if works in Mozilla/Netscape, IE, and even Opera, it'll probably work in anything that conforms to an inkling of HTML standard.

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Aug 23, 2002, 3:29am

Their citizenships are going to be banned? Oh, big deal. All they have to do is get another citizenship using someone elses credit card, a stolen account, a borrowed account...

And Goober King doesn't make rude comments. He makes smart-ass arguementative comments. There *is* a difference =P

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Aug 29, 2002, 12:25pm

This thread is dead.

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Aug 25, 2002, 8:05pm

Looks that way. I can't connect either. :-\

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Aug 24, 2002, 2:56pm

As you know, Andras' newsgroups are currently down. Therefore, you must all endure my evil humorous postings until Offtopic.AnythingElse is accessible once more. =)

--
Male and Female Nouns!

From the Washington Post Invitation, in which it was postulated that the English language should have male and female nouns, like the French do, and readers were asked to assign genders to nouns of their choice and explain their reasons. The submissions which were selected as finalists:

SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.

HOT-AIR BALLOON -- male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it...and, of course, there's the hot-air part.

SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.

SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

PHOTOCOPIER -- female, because once turned on, it takes a while to warm up, it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed and because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

TV REMOTE -- female...Ha! You thought it would be male. But consider: It gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Aug 28, 2002, 4:55pm

--
Goober King
Open mouth, insert foot.rwx
robrod at prism.net

*blinks*

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Aug 26, 2002, 12:45am

This one was found by Tony M. If you've read or seen the first part of Lord of the Rings, you should appreciate this :-)

--

Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows on my PC, I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows CD. Too my astonishment and distress he threw it into my micro-wave oven and turned it on. I was upset because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: 'Do not worry, it is unharmed.' After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a close look at it.' To my surprise the CD was quite cold and it seemed to have become thicker and heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription, in lines finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth:

4F6E65204F5320746F2072756C65207468656D20616C6C2C204F6E65204F5320746F
2066696E64207468656D2C0D0A4F6E65204F5320746F206272696E67207468656D20
616C6C20616E6420696E20746865206461726B6E6573732062696E64207468656D

'I cannot read the fiery letters,' I said.

'No,' he said, 'but I can. The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:'

One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Aug 26, 2002, 2:38pm

It's *supposed* to be silly. It's a *joke*. And if anyone does indeed put a CD into their microwave, they deserve what's coming to them. If they aren't bright enough to see something so obvious for what it is... well, just let the problem get rid of itself =P

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Aug 27, 2002, 4:26pm

I was under the impression that AOL CDs were meant to be used as coasters for one's coffee table. I never thought of cooking them...

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Aug 26, 2002, 11:33pm

And you think you had a bad day......

This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the NZ Workers' Compensation Board.

This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award .for sure

Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form.

I had put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient:

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.

Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.

This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent,not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.

This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope. Then I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.

This explains the two broken legs. I hope this sufficiently answers your inquiry about the "Bad Planning" part of my report.

Your Sincerely,
Dave (last name withheld to protect the stupid)

Aug 27, 2002, 1:58pm

I'm just the messenger.

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Aug 27, 2002, 4:34pm

Although the De Anza Health Office long been an advocate of stress
management, stress, tension, and burnout are still common complaints of
students, faculty, and staff alike. On account of this, we have come
to the following conclusion: YOU ALL WANT TO STAY STRESSED! The
following provides you with a few reasons why.

STRESS HELPS YOU SEEM IMPORTANT. Anyone as stressed as you must be
working very hard and, therefore,
is probably doing something very
crucial.

IT HELPS YOU TO MAINTAIN PERSONAL Anyone as busy as you are certainly
DISTANCE AND AVOID INTIMACY. can't be expected to form emotional
attachments to anyone. And let's
face it, you're not much fun to be
around anyway.

IT HELPS YOU AVOID RESPONSIBILITIES. Obviously you're too stressed to be
given any more work. This gets you
off the hook for all the mundane
chores; let someone else take care
of them.

IT GIVES YOU A CHEMICAL RUSH. Stress might be considered a cheap
thrill, and you can give yourself a
"hit" anytime you choose. But be
careful, you might get addicted to
your own adrenaline.

IT HELPS YOU AVOID SUCCESS. Why risk being "successful" when by
simply staying stressed you can
avoid all of that? Stress can keep
your performance level low enough
that success won't ever be a threat.

STRESS ALSO LETS YOU KEEP YOUR The authoritarian style of "Just do
AUTHORITARIAN MANAGEMENT STYLE. what I say!" is generally permissi-
ble under crisis conditions. If
you maintain a permanently stressed
crisis atmosphere, you can justify
an authoritarian style all the time.

Are you worried now about how to stay stressed? You'll have no trouble
if you practice the following clinically proven methods:

NEVER EXERCISE. Exercise wastes a lot of time that
could be spent worrying.

EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT. Hey, if cigarette smoke can't
cleanse your system, a balanced
diet isn't likely to.

GAIN WEIGHT. Work hard at staying at least 25
pounds over your recommended
weight.

TAKE PLENTY OF STIMULANTS. The old standards of caffeine,
nicotine, sugar, and cola will
continue to do the job just fine.

AVOID "WOO-WOO" PRACTICES. Ignore the evidence suggesting
that meditation, yoga, deep
breathing, and/or mental imaging
help to reduce stress. The
Protestant work ethic is good for
everyone, Protestant or not.

GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL Let the few friends who are
SUPPORT SYSTEM. willing to tolerate you know that
concern yourself with friendships
only if you have time, and you
never have time. If a few people
persist in trying to be your
friend, avoid them.

PERSONALIZE ALL CRITICISM. Anyone who criticizes any aspect
of your work, family, dog, house,
or car is mounting a personal
attack. Don't take time to
listen, be offended, then return
the attack!

THROW OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. Staying stressed is no laughing
matter, and it shouldn't be
treated as one.

MALES AND FEMALES ALIKE - BE MACHO. Never ever ask for help, and if
you want it done right, do it
yourself!

BECOME A WORKAHOLIC. Put work before everything else,
and be sure to take work home
evenings and weekends. Keep
reminding yourself that vacations
are for sissies.

DISCARD GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. Schedule in more activities every
day than you can possibly get done
and then worry about it all
whenever you get a chance.

PROCRASTINATE. Putting things off to the last
second always produces a marvelous
amount of stress.

WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T Worry about the stock market,
CONTROL. earthquakes, the approaching Ice
Age, you know, all the big issues.

BECOME NOT ONLY A PERFECTIONIST BUT ...and either beat yourself up, or
SET IMPOSSIBLY HIGH STANDARDS... feel guilty, depressed, discour-
aged, and/or inadequate when you
don't meet them."

Aug 28, 2002, 3:55pm

http://mauz.info/awworlds.html has a list of worlds that notes whether or not tourists are allowed entry and whether or not the world is open for public building.

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Aug 28, 2002, 4:16pm

Observations on Life:


Men are like Slinkies -- not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, that's not going to happen".

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

The other night I ate at a really nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder in the car these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

According to a recent survey, men say that the first thing they notice about a woman are their eyes. And women say that the first thing they notice about men is that they're a bunch of liars.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling.

In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world IS weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd have come to me sooner."

You read about all these terrorists -- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.

Aug 28, 2002, 4:27pm

I made this one up myself, so it may not be funny, but just humor me on this one.

--

Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a tiny community that lived upon a hill, called Newsville. This community was considered a safe and prosperous place to live, for no rule breakers lived in Newsville. In the center of Newsville there were two things that the town was most proud of: a large cross, to show the town's devotion to Christianity, and a large wooden board, where the community inhabitants came and pinned their writings for others to see and respond to.

Then one day an evil man by the name of P. R. Spammer descended upon the village of Newsville. He had an issue and he wanted it to be EVERYBODY's issue. When he found out about the community's famous posting board, he could think of no better way to make his issue known. However, when he arrived at the village center and saw how many postings were on the board, he though, "No one is going to be able to see this in all that mess." Then Mr. Spammer saw the large cross next to the board and had an idea. He would pin his writing on the cross so that everyone would see it!

The next day the village was in uproar. When two police knocked at Mr. Spammer's door and informed him that he was under arrest, Mr. Spammer inquired as to the reason of his arrest.

One of the two policemen said quite bluntly, "Crossposting."

Aug 28, 2002, 7:01pm

1. You never posted this
2. I never replied
3. A world-wide rebellion of your leadership would take place in your alternate universe

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Aug 29, 2002, 8:27pm

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the finalists:


"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.)

"What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter."
(Lykes Lines Shipping)

"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

"This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."

"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been
working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let
you know when it's time to tell them."
(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

--

The following is a reply to the original post:

The best part of things like this is that they are true. This is an actual memo I received from my supervisor:

"Please let me know of machine failures before they occur."

Aug 30, 2002, 9:55am

Mozilla 1.1! Netscape 7's been released, but it's based on an earlier version of Mozilla (1.0.1) and bloated with extra (useless) features.

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Aug 30, 2002, 4:49pm

True, but why should you have to go to the trouble of removing all the AOL spam and other junk? Besides, you can download the Mozilla 1.0 trunk if you're concerned about stability: it's the most stable release of the Mozilla browser. Netscape 7 was based mostly on that build.

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Aug 30, 2002, 7:21pm

I did read it. My reply was unaffected: I just stated that if you were concerned with stability issues, you could try the Mozilla 1.0 trunk.

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